she's cracking me up!

my daughter has been cracking me up lately. i've heard her saying some funny things. i want to try to remember them so i thought i would keep a log of it here.

i laughed when:

1. my daughter thought judas betrayed Jesus for 30 pieces of "silverware".

2. my daughter asked me why my highlighters didn't "light up".

3. i saw her combing her hair with an eyebrow comb. she said, "it's going to take forever to comb my hair because this comb is so small!"

4. overhearing her say, "bubba i'm getting more frustrateder!!!!"

5. my niece was spending the day with our family. my daughter asked her for piggybank (piggyback) rides. as my niece was trotting her around the front room, her cell phone in her back pocket started to vibrate. my daughter felt the vibration and said, "did you just toot?"

6. we were having a tickling session on my bed. she giggled everywhere i tickled her. i asked my daughter, "why are you so ticklish?" she replied, "because that's the way God made me!"

7. my daughter asked me, "is madam a boy or a girl?"

i said, "madam is a girl."

she smiled at me and then said, "then is eve a boy?"

"what? eve is usually a name for a girl!" i replied.

"then is madam is the boy." she stated.

"no madam is for a girl".

she looked so confused. in the chatter that followed, i realized she was asking about adam and eve. she thought it was "madam and eve" and knew one of them had to be a boy.

8. when my daughter asked daddy if he was going the "speed lemon". i said, "it's speed limit honey.", but she doesn't believe me.

9. my daughter has just finished her lunch consisting of ham sandwich, chips, string cheese and grapes. she walked over to me, showed me her full belly and said, "i have a lot of meatness in my belly!"

10. if you get grossed out easily by poop statements, please disregard this one. my daughter came into the kitchen and asked me the following: "mommy, bubba said that when you poop really hard, your brain will pop out of the top of your head and then you have to run into a wall to get it back in. is that right?" umm... i just laughed.

11. we have a pink swirl (a yogurt place) opening by our house soon. we drove by it today and my daughter asked, "is the pink squirrel open yet?"

12. one of my favorite songs is "give me your eyes" by brandon heath ( you can listen to it on the playlist at the bottom of my blog). we listen to k-love most of the day. she came into her room and said, "mommy!!! your favorite song is on k-love. you know the "give me my eyes song"!

13. grandma will be having knee surgery soon. my daughter came up to me and said, "mom, if i was getting foot surgery on my knee, i don't think i would be very happy about it. i think it would hurt!". yes, honey foot surgery on your knee would be painful.

14. i painted my daughter's fingernails and toenail last week for church. she wanted them red. the fingernail paint is starting to chip off her fingers. it's the kind that drys in 60 seconds so it doesn't usually stay on that long. this morning she came to me and said, "mommy! my fingers are starting to come off." meaning the fingernail paint.

15. we were going through her closet and had to get rid of several pairs of shoes because "they were getting too small for her." she asked me, "mommy, will they just turn into baby shoes?"

16. the other day in the car, my daughter asked me, "mom, who gave us the "liberty of all"? i said, "what?" she said, "you know the statue holding up the candle." she meant the statue of liberty.

17. my daughter's doll has a broken leg. she has not let me forget that she needs a wheelchair and "crowches" for her doll so she get around. what are "crowches" you ask? crutches.