well that's a punch in the gut.

well that was a punch in the gut.

went to sunday school today. it was great. let me just give you the statement that gave me the punch in the gut, then i'll give you a little backstory.

"What if God designed marriage to make us holy instead of happy?"

that quote is from sacred marriage by gary thomas.

this past week was a hard week for the officer and i.

we had some.... differences.

we had some.... discussions.

okay..... we had some fights.

i know every couple has them. no couple is that perfect married couple. we certainly are not. far from it. if you could be a fly on the wall....

i will say that those of you who think i was a little harsh on myself when i said i was "judgmental, stubborn, and could hold a grudge" would have been surprised if you could have peeked into our household this week. really, these characteristics are in me. they are my weaknesses, constant areas of improvement. i need to throw in prideful too. oh so prideful sometimes.

Galatians 6:3-4
"For if any person things himself to be somebody when he is nobody, he deceives and deludes and cheats himself. But let every person carefully scrutinize and examine and test his own conduct and his own work. He can then have the personal satisfaction and joy of doing something commendable without boastful comparison to his neighbor."

Ephesians 4:31-32
"Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you."

Proverbs 3:7
"Be not wise in your own eyes; reverently fear and worship the Lord and turn away from evil."

I Peter 5:6
"Therefore humble yourself under the might hand of God...."

Proverbs 21:24
"The proud and haunty man -- scoffer is his name - deals and act with overbearing pride."

Matthew 7:1-5
“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye"

Luke 6:37
“Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven"

yep,i know what God has thought of some of my thoughts, words, and actions this past week.

so today i went to sunday school. i was able to sit still and listen to God speak to me though the sunday school lesson.

"What if God designed marriage to make us holy instead of happy?"

there were a couple more things that stuck out to me. gary thomas mentioned that all our joy and fulfillment should not come from our spouse. it should come from God. if we are looking to our spouse to fulfill all that, we will be disappointed. it's not that i haven't heard that before, but i needed to hear it right at this time. also, in all things God is trying to shape us more into the character of Him. marriage is a tool to do that.

i need to put in a little disclaimer before people worry about my marriage. my marriage is good. i am happy in my marriage. i love the officer. however, everyone knows that being married over a decade takes work. i always admire those cute couples that have their 50 year anniversary, like ma & pa. amazing. that didn't happen without work. it's not a criticism, but i am not sure how couples who do not believe in God and have a personal relationship with Him do it. what do they hold on to? what is their hope in? where do they get the strength they need to hang in there when times are really tough? of course this could be said of christians too, can't it?

so next sunday we will continue on the marriage videos. i am looking forward to it and i am readying myself for what else God will tell me. i'm sure it will be convicting and encouraging. convicting because i always fall short. encouraging because:

Hebrews 4:15-16
"For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are--yet was without sin. Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need."